Own Goal

I recently picked up used copies of Panzerblitz and Panzer Leader, two games from Avalon Hill's golden age of bookcase games, which I somehow managed not to buy despite promising every time I saw them that I would.

For those not in the know, these games "simulate" armoured conflicts in WWII, Panzerblitz between Germany and Soviet Russia and Panzer Leader between the German and Allied armies post D-Day. In their time there were expansions available (if you could find them) that could shift either game into new theaters of war. They remain quite popular with enthusiasts to this day, even though neither game has been available outside of a collector's market since the late 80s.

Picturing battles to come with opponents I am determined to scare up, I decided to pen my own version of The Panzerlied - the German song of the tankmen as heard in the movie The Battle of the Bulge. Since I don't speak German, and the point was to needle my putative opponent (assuming I get to play Germany) the lyrics were of necessity in English and inflammatory in nature.

If we see an enemy tank we shoot it to bits!
If we see an enemy truck we shoot it to bits!
And if we see a tank hunter we shoot and shoot until it's blown to bits!
If we see an enemy jeep we shoot it to bits!

The enemy hides in camouflage which we shoot to bits!
The enemy hides in houses which we then shoot to bits!
The enemy hides in trenches which we squish and then we shoot them to bits!
The enemy hides in bunkers which we shoot to bits!

The enemy arrives in landing craft which we shoot to bits!
The enemy arrives in gliders which we then shoot to bits!
The enemy arrives at airfields which we overrun and then we shoot to bits!
The enemy arrives in halftracks which we shoot to bits!

Only thing is, since writing it I can't stop it running round and round in my head. It seems I have written an earworm.

So that worked.